The Guilty Gear Theatre!
by Nyny-Yan
Summary: The Guilty gear Theatre has been re-released by Nyny-Yan and has undergone a change in authorship! The Story Features The Guilty Gear Cast Performing Famous Plays, Guilty Gear Style! JamxKy, SolxKy, Jam vs. Sol! R&R!
1. Default Chapter

Yay! My first Guilty Gear fanfic (but not my very first fanfic in general) ^^"...  
  
Anywhoo... This fic is about the Guilty Gear Theater, a theater that produces famous and   
  
treasured plays.... Guilty Gear style!  
  
I do not own Guilty Gear... because if I did, I would have several changes made... And I   
  
am not affiliated with those owners in any which way shape or form...  
  
Anyways... onto the story!  
  
~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~  
  
It was a bright sunshiny day, and the entire Guilty Gear cast was stuck indoors at the   
  
crazy behest of an unknown person...  
  
"What?! They're gonna steal my porn collection if I don't show up?!" Johnny screamed   
  
maniacly as he read the note over again...  
  
"Don't worry Johnny, we're all in this together!" May cheerfully glomped Johnny while   
  
wondering who was writing the threatening letters to get them all to show up at this strange   
  
dilapidated theatre...  
  
"You may all be wondering why you're here..." came a female voice from the large   
  
stage with its moth-eaten curtain and wood floors with holes in it. "It is because I, April   
  
the Great made you come!" With that, April grabbed a stray rope, and swooped down over the heads   
  
of the many people waiting for her.  
  
"Why did you..." May began.  
  
"Shut up bitch!" cut in April. "You always get the good stuff happenning to you, so   
  
now I take over!"  
  
"So, what's exactly happenning here?" Millia's uncaring voice rang through the   
  
theater.  
  
"Yeah! Why the fuck did you drag me away from home so I could be stuck in a crappy   
  
old room with this pansy?" Sol jerked a thumb towards Ky and bared his teeth.  
  
"Hey! I'm..." Ky started to speak.  
  
"Because it's better than that piece of crap box you call a house!" April shrieked,   
  
starting to get angry. Ky smirked some at Sol's outraged expression. "I have little blackmail   
  
things on all of you, and you must all do my bidding now! Yes, even you Ky... did you want   
  
me to tell Sol about..."  
  
"No! Don't!" Ky shouted in protest.  
  
"Fine fine," April continued. "My project is going to be making our own theater! We're   
  
going to put on plays and I will reap in all the cas... eerr... bask in the charitable donations   
  
that the theater's fund are going to... yes that's it..."  
  
"Why did you need to blackmail us then?" Millia asked, confused bout April's strange   
  
and psychotic behavior, "we would have come on our own you know..."  
  
"..." April had nothing to say to that. "Well... I just want you all here tomorrow   
  
morning at 6am sharp! We're gonna put on a play tomorrow night! now leave!"  
  
Everyone stared at her for a moment, and Sol was the first to say something, "Why   
  
the hell would I get up that freaking early?!"  
  
April merely smirked and replied, "Because I know something Ky doesn't know, and I'm   
  
gonna tell him about it!"  
  
"Oh! You wouldn't dar, bitch!"  
  
"Oh no? Watch me!"  
  
"Napalm Death!!!!" The firey blaze filled the room and April fell to the ground with   
  
swirlies for eyes... @.@  
  
"Now that that's overwith, I'm getting the hell outta here..." Sol picked up the Fire Seal   
  
and made his way to the door, when suddenly...  
  
"WAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!! KURADOBERI JAM!!!!!!!!!!!" the scream came from Jam as the door   
  
burst inwards and knocked Sol all the way back to the stage.  
  
"Umm.... Jam?" Millia stared at her, raising a brow.  
  
"Yeah?" Jam replied.  
  
"Weren't you here in the beginning with the rest of us?"  
  
"Yes.... but I had to go find another means of getting money, since I went to go check on  
  
my restaurant and the second I got there it randomly imploded for no apparent reason, like it always does.   
  
And thus, I will direct this play tomorrow in place of April!"  
  
Sol got up groaning from the stage and shouted, "Like hell you are!" He charged Jam, but he   
  
was no match for the awesome powers of Jammy goodness!!!! Jam hit him with a Ki-ball and then kicked his ass   
  
all the way up to the rafters!  
  
"Any other objections?" Jam asked. Everyone shuffled out quietly, quite fraked out about   
  
Jam's border-line psychoticness. Jam ran over, and attatched herself to Ky's arm with a death-grip and   
  
walked out the door. She smiled at Sol hanging up in the rafters and giggled at his anger, before snuggling   
  
closer to Ky...  
  
~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~  
  
Okay... that was a little odd... and as you can see, I love Jam! XD Jam rules all!!! And yesh, I believe that   
  
Jam shall kick Sol's ass everyday!.... I'm also a huge JamxKy supporter, amongst other things... and I know this   
  
begninning part sucked a little, but when the play starts it's gonna rock!!!!! Yay! XD 


	2. Guilty Gear Presents: Hamlet!

Yay! My first Guilty Gear fanfic (but not my very first fanfic in general) ^^"...  
  
Anywhoo... This fic is about the Guilty Gear Theater, a theater that produces famous and   
  
treasured plays.... Guilty Gear style!  
  
I do not own Guilty Gear... because if I did, I would have several changes made... And I   
  
am not affiliated with those owners in any which way shape or form...  
  
Anyways... onto the first Guilty Gear Theater Production   
  
~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~  
  
The following morning, various characters walk into the theater at 6am sharp. And   
  
Jam was nowhere to be found, and Sol was still hanging from the rafters.  
  
"'Bout time you got here," Sol drawled angrily from the rafters. "Let me down now!" Everyone   
  
just stared at him, and no one actually made any movement to save him. Everyone sat (in Sol's   
  
case, hung) around waiting for the arrival of their psychotic director.  
  
Several hours later, at 2pm to be exact, Jam showed up... on the rafters? Jam opened the   
  
door at the end of the rafters, and walked along them towards Sol. "You know, you could have   
  
gone out the door?" Jam taunted. Sol just hung there and glared at her, so she continued.   
  
"Ky and I had the best time last night... havnig dinner, drinking wine... getting it on..." At   
  
the last part of the scentence, Jam could visibly see the rage in Sol's eyes, until Ky   
  
piped up...  
  
"But Jam... we didn't do..." Ky began.  
  
"Shut up bitch!!" Jam cut him off quickly, then gave Sol a sharp kick and watched as he   
  
fell to, and through, the floor. "heh.... stupid Sol..." The rafters suddenly cracked, and Jam   
  
fell too. "KYAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!! KURADOBERI JAM!!!!!!!!!!" Jam fell off the rafters and onto   
  
Potemkin's head.   
  
Faust floated down from the rafters (no one quite understood how he got up there...) and   
  
examined Potemkin, "His skull has been crushed and Potemkin is dead..."  
  
Everyone cheered loudly, then the rest of the rafters came tumbling down, and magically   
  
gravitated to testament and crushed him too... and everyone cheered more!!!!   
  
[Author's Note: as you can see, I despise Testament and Potemkin with a passion!!]  
  
Jam crawled off of Potemkin, and announced the play that they were putting on... in 1   
  
hour.... -.-"  
  
**********************************  
  
(The theater was full, and the red tattered curtain hung losely on in front of the stage)  
  
*Jam walks out onto the stage*  
  
Jam: Welcome everyone to the Guilty Gear Theater! Today's production is Hamlet! Produced and   
  
directed by yours truly!!!!  
  
*Jam pauses and silence ensues throughout the theatre*  
  
Jam: CHEER OR DIE!!!!!!!!!  
  
*Audience cheers as Jam walks off-stage satisfied*  
  
(The curtain rises and a spotlight appears on a dark stage)  
  
(Hamlet, played by Millia Rage lies in bed)  
  
*Millia wakes up to a large crashing noise*  
  
*Hamlet's father, played by Chipp breaks through the wall*  
  
Chipp: Holy Zen! That wall is thick!  
  
*Millia facepalms*  
  
Millia: Stick to the script dumbass!  
  
Chipp: Didn't read it! :P  
  
Millia: Why the hell not?!  
  
Chipp: I was taking drug... errr..... helping feed the homeless..  
  
*Millia facepalms again and sighs deeply*  
  
Millia: Father! Are you not dead?  
  
Chipp: Do I look like I'm dead? Of course not! And since when did I become your father?  
  
*Millia's hair turns into a noose which wraps itself around Chipp's neck*  
  
Millia: You'll be dead soon if you don't follow the play!  
  
Chipp: aaargkghfjkal...  
  
Millia: What the hell?  
  
Chipp: acccccckkkkkk!!!!  
  
Millia: I want the understudy right now!!!!!!!!  
  
*Millia tosses Chipp into the audience and taps her foot impatiently*  
  
*Hamlet's father, now played by Ky waslk on stage*  
  
Ky: I did not die rightly! I was poisened!  
  
Millia: Gasp!  
  
Ky: I am a ghost.... which technically is not a holy hing, and thus I shouldn't be playing   
  
this role... this role is against my mora....  
  
*Millia is glaring daggers at Ky*  
  
Ky: err.... Your uncle poisoned me and so forth! Away!  
  
*Ky runs through Chipp's hole in the wall, followed by many crashing and painful noises from   
  
backstage*  
  
Millia: *sweatdrop*  
  
Millia: ummm..... To be or not to be? *she is horribly confused now*  
  
Millia:... err.... I must think of a plan to capture my uncle and make him confess!  
  
*Faust floats down on an umbrella*  
  
Faust: I am your alter-ego.... oooooooooooooooooohhhhhhh!!!!!!!  
  
Millia: What the hell is this?!  
  
Faust: You must go back in time and collect dinosaurs.... then go to the future and   
  
get robots.... then use them to make a play that will rat out your evil uncle...  
  
Millia: WHERE IS THIS IN THE SCRIPT?!  
  
Faust: Dooooooo iiiiitttttt!!!!!  
  
*Faust flies away on his umbrella, before being hit by lighting and falling into a crisp   
  
mound of ashes*  
  
*Axl jumps onto the stage*  
  
Axl: I will take you back in time! I am the spirit of Christmas Past!!!!  
  
*Millia uses Lust Shaker on the idiot*  
  
Millia: Fine....  
  
*she grabs onto Axl and goes back in time*  
  
(Narrator, played by Jam)  
  
Jam: YOU DUMBASSES!!!! THIS ISN'T IN THE PLAY!!!... errr.... I mean.... And thus,   
  
Mill... Hamlet went back in time to search for dinosaurs....  
  
*arriving back in time*  
  
Millia: This is soooooo stupid!!!!!  
  
Axl: Look a dinosaur!!!!!  
  
Millia: Gasp!  
  
*They look at the dinosaur which is none other than a tiny plastic toy*  
  
Millia: *facepalms*  
  
*They capture the dinosaur and go all the way forwards in time to get the robot*  
  
*They arrive in the future*  
  
*Millia picks up another little toy and goes back to her time*  
  
Axl: How about a little "thank-you"?  
  
I-No: THANK-YOU!!!! *does LAst Will and Testament on Axl*  
  
Millia: *fake voice* oh no... Axl is dead... whatever. shall. I. do?... Ah screw him!  
  
*Millia returns to the castle to set up the play*  
  
(scene changes to a fabulous dinner banquet where a dinosaur and a robot are doing a   
  
play about a King who is murdered by pouring grape juice into his ear)  
  
Millia: How is that supposed to kill him?  
  
Jam: He was diabetic.... now get on with the play!!!!  
  
*Faust walks on wearing a long flowing white dress*  
  
Faust: No one out-crazies Ophelia!!!!!!!!  
  
*Faust starts dancing around the table*  
  
Faust: Hey nonny nonny with a hey and a ho (I-No pops her head in, but realises that he   
  
wasn't talking about her) and a...  
  
Jam: WAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!! KURADOBERI JAM!!!!!!!!!! *she sends him flying off the stage   
  
with a well-placed flaming kick of death and/or doom*  
  
Everyone: O.o  
  
Millia: Uncle! I challenge you!! You killed my father!!!!  
  
(Hamlet's Uncle, played by Sol gets up a pulls out the Fire Seal)  
  
Sol: I accept!  
  
*Millia stabs him with her hair, and Sol stabs Millia with the Fire Seal*  
  
Sol: ...  
  
Jam: GOD DAMNIT SOL!!! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO DIE!!!!  
  
Sol: God? I don't want anything to do with...  
  
Jam: WAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!! KURADOBERI JAM!!!!!!!!! *she uses 8-ways to die on Sol*  
  
Millia: And thus, I die  
  
*Millia sits on the ground*  
  
(Hamlet's mother, played by I-No looks around)  
  
I-No: ...  
  
I-No: ummm.... err..... *starts playing guitar*  
  
Jam: Psssttt.... You're supposed to be poisoned!  
  
I-No: Oh....  
  
*I-No sits on the ground, still playing her guitar and shouting random whorish phrases like   
  
"Stroke the big tree!"*  
  
Jam: And thus, the play ended... NOW GO HOME!!!!!  
  
*The audience leaves*  
  
Jam: THAT WAS PATHETIC!!!!!!!!!  
  
Jam: WAAAAAHHHH!!!!! KURADOBERI....  
  
I-No: Arigato! *smacks Jam and kills her*  
  
Jam: Ai yi yi.... @.@  
  
I-No: Next time I'm directing!!!!!  
  
Author: And thus I-No became director for tomorrow night's...  
  
I-No: Arigato! *smacks Author and kills*  
  
Author: @.@  
  
~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~  
  
Zappa: Why wasn't I in it?  
  
Author: I don't like you....  
  
S-Ko: I HATE YOOOOOUUUUUU!!!!!!  
  
Author: I love you S-Ko!  
  
S-Ko: O.o  
  
Author: Let's torture Zappa!  
  
S-Ko: Okay!  
  
*Author waves goodbye to reader while torturing Zappa with S-Ko*  
  
XD 


End file.
